Up it goes.
Soaring to heights unscaled
Spreading its gallant wings
So it cuts through the winds
Like knife through butter
It lands on a trunk
With neck straightened and stretched to the sky
As if to say “WHO IS THE MAN”!
Now it has gone frail
Its feathers that glitter
Now looks like they have gone through a shredder
Are its feathers.
Awful the feathers make it look.
And they stare!
Yes they stare and very well at that!
They stare at the bird they once admired or detested.
The admirers could not hide their disappointment at its becoming
Whilst those that detest it smile and laugh in a jubilant and sarcastic manner,
As if to say "Thank God for your becoming!"
It looks straight ahead.
As if luck did prompt it to.
What did it see?!
It saw a Pyre!
So it gathers all strength there is to gather
With a determined look,
A flight it took.
Towards the Pyre
Stand, it does on the Pyre
Its feathers start to smoke
Then it glows
Then its darkens,
Dark till it becomes ash
A powdery ash
The admirers mourn and detractors jubilate.
Ah! Wait a minute
What do I see!?
I see the ashes rise
And as if the magic word “Abra ka Dabra” is says,
Skeletons form and flesh covers them.
Feathers, beautiful ones at that, cover the flesh.
It once again looks as beautiful as ever.
The admirers and detractors exchange the emotions they held.
Once more, with wings spread, it flaps and flies.
Looking back one last time with a gaze that says "thanks for all your thoughts."
Then it disappears into the atmosphere.
"The Phoenix" is part one of our four-part series of poems on soccer.
The likening of soccer and poetry to the phoenix is interesting. I love that theme in your work. Keep it up!
thank you price
AT LONG LAST OGOV HAS A SCOREBOARD
Such is life: when one falls, 'admirers mourn and detractors jubilate',inevitably. But at the end of the day, fate will be on the side of those who persevere in the arena of life. And victory shall be theirs.
If I had been on the verge of giving-up my interest in the cult of poetry, I believe 'The Phoenix' could have beckoned me. In fact, it could have kicked me in. It could have given me hope, so to say.
Not only does 'The Phoenix' gives hope, it also has a generous display of flamboyance; as it pleases the eye - though it does not fall within the category of shape poems. Like a collage, the sight alone is enough to be appreciated.
As a nation who eat(s) football, I'm proud that George has expressed this devotion in a manner as due our status. Moreover, he did it with much respect for grammar - thus without resorting to poetic licence, which may have caused me to forbid his style.
'The Phoenix' has got the muscle that can wrestle for the first prize in any competition. I bet it has!
George, keep writing about the supreme sport. Welldone.
I'm worried about the number of exclamation marks!
Obviously you haven't been to many games then, LS!!
LOUD CROWD & SUITABLE EXCLAMATIONS
I agree the exclamation marks are appropriate usages; representing the spectators whose excited - and sometimes angry - voice plays a role on the field.
May I also clarify an ambiguous (or misleading) statement I made concerning Gerorge's use of proper grammar.
I had wanted to say that; if, on the opposite, he hadn't used formal language, it could have caused me to criticise him, although poetic licence is by no means forbidden.
I would have been critical because I see 'The Phoenix' as a stately poem. And should therefore be written with all propriety - without the whiff of vain words. In that sense, l must be contented that George hasn't failed.
THANK YOU ALL. I HAVE ALWAYS BELIEVED THAT ANYTHING I WRITE OR READ, I SHOULD BE ABLE TO MAKE A MENTAL PICTURE OF IT SO WITH THAT AS HINDSIGHT I WILL GIVE OUT GOOD MATERIALS.
ITS A GAME OF SOCCER I TALK ABOUT AND EMOTIONS ABOUND IN THAT ARENA HENCE IT NEEDS BE EXPRESSED APPROPRIATELY.
DON'T YOU THINK SO?
No Rob, I will myself to snore when ppl start talking football.
George, I understand the fact that it's an emotional game for the spectators and other supporters. Maybe I'm old fashioned.
dont worry LS, all of us can't be passionate about all things u know?
some will, some won't and that is what makes us human or it is not?
Well, George this may be something to do with how I'm processing this. I agree, I'd rather go into a trance than watch football; but all the same I'm accessing this differently.
AM OK WITH THAT
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu..sumbodi kannot take critisism..lol
we are just discussion and all criticism are welcome because i believe criticisms make us better persons.
Oh, LS, how are you going to survive a whole month of football poems?
I've looked the others over and I think they are all exclamation mark free, if that helps :)
Rob, I have no problem with exclamation marks, I use them myself. I only made a note about the volume.
For me it's a poem about a mythical bird, and I see the spectators anticipating some kind of renewal/resurrection at the phoenix' rebirth. It is the same at any festival whether you're talking Christmas or Hogbetsotso.
Okigbo says: if a poem can elicit a response either in physical or emotional terms from an audience, the poem has succeeded.
So I'm sure I'll find a route into the other poems.
THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU.
ALL COMMENTS ARE WELL NOTED AND WILL BE TAKEN EXTREMELY SERIOUS FOR THOSE ARE THE THINGS THAT WILL MAKE ME A BETTER WRITER.
I'm sure too, LS. Just having a little fun!!!
Here is a poem to celebrate President Obama's visit. It is on YouTube
Great stuff, Prince!
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